CONSEQUENCES
“to getting drunk, following it’s lead and blaming it all on the alcohol” I said raising a glass to my new friend come drinking companion. “Just for tonight” he said as the glasses made the cling sound.
A bad day starts bad and ends up worse at it’s end. That’s how this particular one started. I woke up to a message from my boyfriend. It read thus “I know you’d be hurt but I hope you understand that I did what I did to secure a future for myself. Goodbye Jade. I loved it while it lasted. Xoxo lolipop”
Now, I knew what that message meant but I feigned ignorance and dialled his number to confirm that it’s a prank but it was not reachable. Immediately, a call came in from my best friend. “Girlfriend, what’s going on. I saw Paul’s post on Twitter. I called immediately to check up on you” She said after i picked. “What post” I asked. That question ended up as a rhetoric cos I did not wait for reply before ending the call to go see the said post.
I saw pictures of my boyfriend at the airport with his “distant cousin” as he referred to her when I asked some months back with the caption “To better days with my baby”. My phone rang again and of course it was my best friend. I picked but couldn’t say nothing. All she was saying sounded distant. It was like I could hear her and not hear her at the same time. In the end I said “I’d be fine, gotta go to work, don’t wanna be late, I’d call you later and hae, don’t be late for you flight later” before cutting the call.
I won’t lie, I felt nothing after that phone call. No pain, no joy, nothing- I felt numb. I just stepped into the bathroom, took a shower, dressed up and went to work. The cab I boarded to work got spoilt on the way which led to my resuming work that day late and of all days, a supervisory team from the headquarters was already at the office when I arrived. Without getting an explanation from me, I was given a query- the first one in all my years of service to the company. I was suspended for a week with my salary deducted for my days of absence.
I picked my bag, walked out of the office without uttering a single word in my defense. I could see the shock on their faces especially on that of my boss but I didn’t give a hoot. I walked out. As if my day was not messed up already, the heel of my shoe broke. I took the damaged shoe in my hand and began to cry. A taxi stopped in front of me and I boarded to go home. I cried through the ride not caring about what the driver would think. I didn’t know what I was crying for – my damaged shoe, my suspension or my broken relationship.
I got home to Lucy waiting for me. “I heard what happened at the office today. I just had to rush down heyr to see you before heading to the airport” she explained. Lucy was my best friend and colleague at the office. She was to travel on a business trip that afternoon- reason why she wasn’t at the office when it happened. I went for a hug and the tears flowed freely once again. After two hours of comforting me, making sure I ate and putting me to sleep after promising her to make the most of the one week suspension I got, she left to catch her flight.
Heeding to Lucy’s advice and in a bid to making the best of my suspension from work, here I was few hours later drinking with a stranger and bonding over failed relationships. “How dare he call me lolipop in the break up message” I said gulping down my drink and the bitter feeling in my heart. I lost count of how many drinks I had after the second glass.
I woke up the next morning naked in a hotel room that I don’t remember coming to with a banging head. I saw a note on the side drawer. “Blame it all on the alcohol”. “That bastard” I screamed tearing the note. I dressed up and went home with my head banging like crazy. I tried to sleep off the disappointment from the day before- my breakup, the suspension, broken heels, sex with a stranger whose name I didn’t even get, no contact, nothing.
Two months later, after two missed periods, I summoned enough courage to get a pregnancy test done. It came out positive.
Just when my life was starting to take form again, I discovered that I got pregnant from the ‘shittiest’ day of my life for a man whose name I don’t even remember.
Indeed all actions have consequences- I learnt this the hard way that they cling to you like shadows. Right now, I just pretend to really blame it all on the alcohol.